Fargo Rock City

I was at the corner of 31st street and 7th Avenue in New York City on the 1st of July. This particular corner is also known as the venue of Madison Square Garden. One of the appendages to Madison Square Garden is one of the million branches of Borders Bookstore. It is in this branch - which I entered on the intention of using the restrooms (American for bathroom) - that I bought a copy of Fargo Rock City written by Chuck somethingortheother.

The Good

I read this book within 4 hours. So clearly, this wasn't boring to read. He writes with clear passion and sincerity, as is evident from a full chapter devoted to an analysis of the Guns and Roses videos for Don't Cry, November Rain and Estranged. Apparently they were all supposed to tell a story. What that story is, it ends in Axl Rose trying his best Free Willy impersonation. So, I don't get it. Wait this isn't the point. I don't want to discuss Axl Rose.

Actually, maybe people should discuss Axl Rose. Now that Michael Jackson's popped it, I suppose it won't be too long before one more 80s icon decides he's had enough of living as a joke.

Okay, so back to the book. What else did I like about it? I love how he (the author) involves himself in all sorts of twists and turns trying to rationalize his liking of Motley Crue. I personally think this is a pretty pointless thing to do. There's no rationalizing anyone liking Motley Crue. They couldn't really play, their songs were fun but stupid and the members of the band are fairly unlikable. Kind of like ugly bullies who are actually good at heart. They aren't interesting at all.

The best thing about the book is his analysis of Ozzy. Really, this is about the best account of the man I have read. I always thought Ozzy was a goofball, though not stupid, just caught up in too many drugs.

But that's about it.

The Bad

There's a particularly pointless chapter about the author getting drunk. It should be deleted. Is he trying to pretend he's a rock star by getting wasted on some cheap alcohol? I just didn't get it.

The overall tone of the writing is sort of - what's the word - hectoring. He's not arguing at some points, he's telling you. At other points he's arguing like a lawyer. I felt uncomfortable at how convinced he is of what he's saying. Doubtless this is the result of many hours of reasoning to oneself alone, which is good because it means thought has gone into what's been written; however I am not sure of whether his stance is "This is what I feel. Here." or whether it is "This is what I feel. Let me explain why."

There's virtually no mention of Ritchie Blackmore. Or Megadeth. Beyond a few stray references here and there. But this is not the worst sin. That is...

The Ugly

NO MENTION OF DEEP PURPLE!!! This is absolutely astonishing. If David Byrne is going to tell me I should read this book, if the author has truly interviewed all the people he claims to have, how is Deep Purple never even mentioned? They form part of the holy trinity of the genesis of metal - Sabbath, Zeppelin and Purple - now how can you possibly leave out anything at all about Purple in a book that describes itself as a heavy metal odyssey through rural North Dakota.

Oh.

Well, okay, I can take this to mean that rural North Dakotans for whatever mysterious reason are not too keen on Deep Purple. But, beyond trite arguments, I found this incredible. Purple are easily one of the most influential bands out there. They rocked, they rolled, and they also wrote long pieces of seemingly intricate melodies. Plus, they may have been the only metal band that could choogle, as John Fogerty encouraged us all to do.

But in the end, most of the book is opinion, and the problem with opinion is that you cannot fault it for being right or wrong. It just is.

The problem is, if this is supposed to represent how I feel about heavy metal - or even 80s glam rock (which would seem equivalent if your only exposure to this genre is through this book) - well then no, it isn't. Which brings me to the basic problem I have with the book:

There's no discussion of the music. Sure you get enough psychoanalysis of lyrics, thematic content, costume, "importance" (what the hell makes Smells like Teen Spirit important whereas say, No Rain isn't?) and on and on. But where is the music talked about? This is what got me into all this nonsense in the first place. I would never ever have gotten so into this music if it wasn't for the rhythms and melodies that metal bands put out. It seems to be therefore that the author was attracted to the music for the wrong reasons. Which makes me say - Don't buy this book.